Kingdom for a Heart
by Xovinn
Summary: The new Las Noches is rising from the sand. Why is Grimmjow feeling so empty? Is having a new future worth of losing the past? HichiIchi, one sided GrimmIchi. Sequel to the My Land.
1. Chapter 1

**Kingdom for a Heart**

Disclaimer: Bleach is by Kubo Tite, the song is by Sonata Arctica.

Warnings: Bad humor, Grimmjow's potty mouth.

A/N: I'm so dead.

First of all, I have been dead looong time. Sorry about that. Even if you didn't miss me. Also, I wanted to end this story before I put it here. I was supposed to get a beta, too.

Well, I didn't. Enjoy the story, and please review. Me big love you if you review! #glomps#

**Chapter I**

"I think my hands are bleeding."

"Shut up."

"I can't see anything. My eyes are full of sand."

"Shut up. So are mine."

"Why are you being so strict? Little whining has never done anything bad."

"If Grimmjow had hear that he would have killed you. The big guy doesn't like weaklings. And whining is a sign of weakness, that is what he said."

Oh yes, Grimmjow heard quite well what they were saying. He had made a decision to not kill his own men, so the "hard-working" hollow duo had nothing to fear in that aspect.

"You mean... like... kill us dead?"

Sometimes that decision was very hard to keep. Why, oh why all hollows seemed to be brain-dead? And no, Grimmjow had never asked that question aloud. Someone might have answered.

The most powerful arrancar still alive rose from his seat in shadows, making sure that his loyal servants heard him coming closer.

Two figures froze, turning around is somewhat slowmotion. Grimmjow wondered how that was possible without filming equipment. Horror shined in their eyes, creating an illusion of a change of expression on their masked faces. It was a sight that satisfied Grimmjow's sadistic mind greatly.

"Do you have any problems on your work _my slaves?_"

Was it possible for a hollow to suddenly shrink, lets say, into a half of it's original size?

"No sir. Absolutely nothing, sir. Everything is perfectly fine, sir." Aah, shivering voice. Being the biggest pig in the heap of trash was an immense pleasure. He needed only grunt couple times and the smaller ones ran around in state of panic.

What a lovely metaphor.

"Are you sure? Maybe your tired hands need some rest. If you want, I can arrange that you won't never have to to do work again. Or even move an inch from your lovely bed ten metres under solid ground. How does that sound, MY SWEETHEARTS?!"

"Good, sir! I mean, no good sir!"

The former Espada rolled his eyes. "Good. Now honestly, get back to work. Las Noches won't build itself."

Without making sure that his orders were carried out Grimmjow turned and went on his way. He heard voices of working from behind his back.

"That was so your fault! We are so screwed!"

"Shut up! Didn't you learn anything from what just happened? Fucking goldfish!"

"What was that supposed to mean?"

Some things would never change.

Voices faded as Grimmjow walked farther away. The arrancar turned around to watch the new Las Noches. One building, though size of a city. For Grimmjow it had become symbol of his dreams, everything he had courage to wish for. Society of hollows. Not as monsters, as normal citizens, just like in Soul Society.

It was token of the more personal dreams as well. Espada closed his eyes for a couple of seconds, one moment of vulnerability that he was okay with.

He was tired. So fucking tired he wasn't sure should he keep rising from his bed everyday. It was like all the things that were worth of doing were already done. Or slipped away from his hand.

_I'd give a kingdom_

_for a one more day as a king of your heart_

_I'd give a kingdom_

_for just one more way_

What was Ichigo doing nowadays? Was he happy, did he remember to show off that pretty smile everyday? Did he do his homework well? Was his lover doing well, too?

Did he ever think about Grimmjow?

Grimmjow saw no point in fooling himself. That's why he never made up any excuses to anyone, especially for himself. You have to know yourself before you can even think about knowing the enemy.

Some part of his mind did this because it wanted Ichigo to be proud of him. Stupid, hm? Some shinigami brat that probably hated him now more than ever.

That was the essence of his problem, and Grimmjow knew it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't forget how those lips felt on his. How that body tasted.

How tears slid down those cheeks. Fuck it.

Grimmjow had two things that were worth of fighting. Another was his dream of better future. It was a huge burden on his shoulders, and it dragged him down more than it was lifting this sorrowful feeling from his shoulders.

Another was Ichigo. Memory of Ichigo, nowadays. That was all he had now, and that was why he couldn't bring himself to hate the things he had done.

The arrancar opened his eyes, watching the huge colosseum that rose from the gray sand. There was so much to make better, starting from the hollows themselves.

Maybe too much.

Was this the feeling that humans got when they grew old? There was nothing to do anymore. The world went on its course, no matter what he did. And sooner or later, everything would end.

That was all.

"Sir?"

Grimmjow jumped in surprise. How couldn't he have heard the other approaching? Shit. That is so great, Grimmjow. How moody you can get? You wouldn't probably notice the gray sky falling on your head if it decided to do so.

Maybe he should start carrying an umbrella.

"Sir? Is everything alright?"

Grimmjow turned his attention to the other arrancar. He was his most trusted subordinate, Lieutenant. Not the strongest in Las Noches, but the most loyal. He was trying to make a society that would respect ones like Lieutenant.

The teel haired arrancar nodded. "Nothing could be better." No way in hell he would start complaining about his worries like some teenage girl.

He started leaping back to where he had just come from. Feeling Lieutenant's questioning stare in his back he couldn't help but a feel a bit guilty

"Bastards! Spineless worms! You call youself hollows? I call you useless maggots! If I turn my back for a one fucking moment you are already sitting on your fat ass and talking shit!"

Yes, just like this. He felt much better already. And without himself knowing, inside some part of his head, some clever part that liked thinking, the Great Plan was already forming.


	2. Chapter 2

**Kingdom for a Heart**

Disclaimer: Kubo Tite owns Bleach, Sonata Arctica owns the song.

Author's note: Hey hey, nice to see ya! In this chapter there is more Ichi and Hichi. I'm not entirely sure if there will be lemons... do you think it fits? Stay tuned, and remember to review!

**Part II**

There were indeed many thinks to say about Kurosaki Ichigo. He was brave, somewhat charismatic character with nice looks. His face had almost always frowning expression on them, and his orange hair and strong bone structure were fascinating to look at, even if a bit too exotic to be called classically handsome.

"Hey Shiro! If you got nothing better to do, could you read this book and then refer it to me? Just this once?"

Unfortunately, he wasn't too smart. Not too stupid, either, but definitely not smart. Yes, this once for a seventeenth time.

Shirosaki had many times wondered where this difference in their learning habits arouse from. Was it his yearning for information about the world, that he only now could see around him? Where did waves come from? Why the sky was blue? Why were there so many colors?

"Pretty please?" Ichigo turned around in his chair, showing his partner a grin that was same time annoying, cute and perverted. The three most visible characteristics of Kurosaki Ichigo. No many of shinigami's friends believed that teen could be cute in any situation, but if he tried really hard...

Aww. Just like a puppy. Evil, wicked and calculating puppy.

"Give it here. And just this once, okay? They are your studies, not mine." And neither of them believed that.

Ichigo stood up and sat behind his lover, throwing the book into some dark corner. Hopefully he would find it later.

Orange haired one threw his arms around his replica and kissed his neck lovingly. "You sure? Maybe you should take the final exams instead of me. I could sleep long, while you are studying till your eyes drop off."

Shiro rolled his eyes and snuggled closer to his partner's chest. "That wouldn't work. Someone could _just a little _wonder why you had turned albino in only one day."

Ichigo laughed and rolled on his back, pulling Shiro on top of him. "I could say that all the stress has just finally gotten into me and made me a little bit pale. And mind you, no one has ever noticed anything special when you have been out."

- Flashback -

Shiro looked at the mirror and turned around couple of times, trying to find any amusing details on his costume. He saw nothing out of normal.

Then what the heck was making his colorful koibito laugh like a madman?

Ichigo was standing back against the door, gasping for breath. He tried to gather himself up, but only one glance of his over send him to another uncontrollable laughing fit.

Shiro walked calmly next to him and kicked his ankle. Hard.

"What is so god damn funny?!"

The mocker, now sitting on the floor and rubbing his ankle, wiped some tears of laughter from a corner of his eye. "Nothing in particular, baby. You just look really cute like that."

The hollow looked at his reflection with a critical eye. He was wearing a warm, black sweatshirt with two cat ears attached to it's hood. A muffler with black and red stripes was covering a half of his face, leaving only the eyes visible.

The white one glared daggers to his partners direction. "I'm not cute."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"This is going nowhere." The cat ears where flat against his head, only boosting the annoyed impression.

"I know." Ichigo straightened the fake ears and took his beloved's hand. "Shall we go out, then? I want you to see sunset. In autumn, the evening sky may be the same color as the leaves."

Hollow smiled, even if it couldn't be seen because of the scarf.

"Yup!"

- End flashback -

"That is because of the clothes. I can't go to the lessons hood in my head and scarf on my face", Shirosaki turned around and poked Ichigo's nose, "baka".

The orange haired shinigami caught the finger and bid it playfully. "Damn, that's right. But don't get too cocky, aibou. You may be really smart, but you also have your weak spots..."

"No, you're not gonna..."

Ichigo threw his arms around his partner, silencing the 'bitchy whining' as he preferred to call it. With couple of strong and fast movements, poor Shiro was now laying on his bank against the mattress, his partner sitting on top of him. There was pure evil in his smirk, as he began The Ultimate Torture.

"Aah! No! Please! No tickling!"

Ichigo smiled. He loved when his partner made such happy faces. Laughing, almost giggling like a little girl, his adorable lover squirmed inside his loving arms.

Such a peaceful feeling.

It was already months ago when Grimmjow had let them go. Shiro hadn't yet realised it, but Ichigo had known from the start. And why, he couldn't understand.

The world wasn't black and white, like it was in storybooks. In science, in knowledge there was also facts, something that was sure and true. Somethings that no one never questioned. The absolute truth.

Ichigo had wandered in that world for a long time, too. But now, after leaving Grimmjow's arms, everything was starting to become blurry. What was white? What was black? What if another was nothing on itself, only empty space where another wasn't?

Grimmjow. That man had broken boundaries and reshaped colors. Not only that, along with Ichigo's mind he had broken his body, too. Bruises did heal, but in some deeper level, where even his partner didn't see, he would always feel dirty.

_Waiting for my saviour_

_my world is flooding over_

_there is no room for air_

_I can't breath_

_I would give a kingdom_

_for one more day_

"Ichigo? Are you alright?"

Black and yellow eyes stared questioningly into Ichigo's brown ones. Shiro always noticed when he was sad or drifting away from his normal mental course, which had been very often lately.

White arms curled possessively around the other. "I have read those psychology books that you gave me", Shiro murmured to his partner's ear, "and I know you are not, that you can't be alright right now. If you want to talk about it, when you want to talk about it... please do so, okay? To me and to someone professional. Because otherwise something terrible will happen to your mind."

Ichigo brushed his hair. "Yeah. Thanks that you understand."

But in reality, he didn't feel that bad about it. Not like he knew he should feel. It was like this was more pain to Shiro than it was so him.

"I'm sorry."

Arms tightened around him. "Don't be sorry. Particularly don't be sorry." Ichigo didn't see it, but he felt that his partner was ready to cry.

It was peace that they had found, but it was sad and undeserved peace. Something that was started wasn't yet come to it's end.

That was when the doorbell rang. It might have been a coincidence, but when thinking about it later, Shiro suspected that Ichigo somehow knew that it was going to happen.

In downstairs Kurosaki Yuzu opened the door. He was rather surprised to see a huge lump of red roses, hold by a man with unusually blue hair.

Author's note: Whee! I liked this chapter. -- (huge fan of fluff)

The costume that Shiro wears for going outside actually exists. Thanks to Kii-chan for inspiration!


	3. Chapter 3

**Kingdom for a Heart**

Disclaimer: Kubo Tite owns Bleach, Sonata Arctica owns the song.

Warnings: Some curse words and OOCness.

Author's note: It is pretty hard for me to write any sort of angst. There is always crack humor in my angst! #headdesk# Well, I did my best. And remember, I eat reviews. Feed the hungry author.

**Part III**

Grimmjow was unsure what to do next. The little girl in front of him was even more amazed, her brown eyes wide.

What? Had she never seen a blue hair before?

"Ermm", he started awkwardly, "Does Kurosaki Ichigo live here by any chance?"

The girl's face instantly lit up. "Oh, you mean nii-chan! Yeah, he is studying now, though. Are those flowers for him? That is so sweet! He hasn't told me that he has a boyfriend. Are you his boyfriend? You must be. Why would you otherwise give him flowers?"

"Invisible voices in my head told me to."

"Wait a moment, please. Ichi-nii will be here in seconds!" The girl stormed away. She was obviously one of those people who heard only what they wanted to hear.

"Umm, thanks. I guess." The girl was one energetic piece of shit. Grimmjow couldn't help but feel that this wasn't such a good idea after all.

--

The familiar, enthusiastic knock snapped the lovers out of their peaceful moment.

"Nii-chan! I'm sorry to bother you, but some strange man came over. I think he wans to give you flowers. Aaw, Ichi-nii, you didn't tell me you have a boyfriend!" She giggled.

First, no voice answered her. Then she heard some annoyed hissing and a muffled voice, almost like the speaker was being strangled. "Yeah, I will be right there." Then, even more silent, "no, it's not like that! You should know. It's probably just a wrong address or something."

The girl turned, went back to kitchen and continued what she was doing. Soon she had already forgotten the strange detail. Some one might have wondered how Yuzu exactly has kept her sanity through the years. She is the grand master of denial.

Ichigo tried to calm down his lover. The white one looked extremely pissed, which Ichigo thought was rather insulting. The guy looked the world through his eyes most of the time, for god's sake. If Ichigo would have an another boyfriend, how would it be possible to hide it?

"Stop looking at me like that. Come with me, if you don't trust me. Sheesh! You are really pain in the ass sometimes, you know that?"

The hollow flashed him a smugly smile before his material body disappeared, withdrawing into his inner world.

The shinigami really did have to think for awhile before he realised what was so funny. Lovely strawberry color covered his tanned cheeks.

"Pervert."

--

Grimmjow saw the slim figure getting down the stairs. Well, this was it. No time to back down anymore. Standing there a punch of flowers in his hands, he felt like getting married or something. Without completely realising what he was doing, the arrancar smoothed some wrinkles from his white trousers and messed his hair.

The person coming down the stairs stopped abruptly. Grimmjow lift his gaze from the floor to meet the brown eyes, which showed the teens emotions like a mirror of the soul.

Usually.

The young shinigami's head was lightly tilted to the side, and his eyes which were directed to Grimmjow weren't actually looking at him. Te youngster's whole posture demanded a explanation, and it would better be good.

_What the hell am I waiting here for_

_expecting you to come and give away your life_

_just for a moment of my time_

Grimmjow's mind worked hard for a while, trying to remember another time he had seen those emotionless eyes. He didn't find such a memory. He remembered rage, sorrow, joy, embarrassment and even regret whit many other feelings. Seeing right through the other, he was always the one in control, deciding what to do next.

Smooth and confident, leading the situation. He should do something, because the other was just staring at him, somewhat uninterested look in his eyes.

"Err... Would you want some flowers?"

Darn. Sometimes when Grimmjow opened his mouth, only frogs will come out.

Shinigami's eye colour changed dramatically. "Flowers?! Who cares a fuck about flowers? If you don't leave in this intance, you will get those flowers showed up into your ass!"

Someone else could have been scared shitless, or at least be little puzzled. Grimmjow was no man to be scared a teenager, no matter how strong. Plus, he had already met Shiro once before.

He had no positive memory about the other hollow.

The arrancar waved the flower thingy around and then pointed it towards his rival. "You! This whole situation has nothing to do with you! Be fucking gone and let me talk with your king for awhile. Now, hush."

Like thinks would ever go that smoothly.

Apparently Ichigo's counter part loved him very much. The aura of angry, fiery reiatsu embraced the whole house and a couple blocks around it. Across the street a particularly sensitive lady screamed and dropped a kettle.

"Whoah, easy!" Grimmjow wobbled backwards. He was now target of all that angry power, and it wasn't too nice. The closest feeling you could compare it was being whipped with a dozen pissed off, extra poisonous snakes.

It was his luck that hollow was too enraged to attack. Otherwise the defending matter would have formed a problem. A bunch of flowers can be deadly, but only in case of very serious allergic reaction. Possibilities? None.

And as fast as it had begun, the flare of reiatsu stopped. Looking back up, Grimmjow discovered that the youngster's eyes had returned to their normal color.

Shinigami didn't say a word. He calmly turned on his heels and returned to upstairs.

"Hey! What are you doing? At least gimme a cup of coffee or something. It was pretty much trouble to come all the way here. Come back here, you punk!"

With tired voice he cursed and threw the flowers to the direction of the nearby table, not caring did they hit.

Grimmjow had never felt this humiliated in his entirely life.

Or dead. Whatever.

And the worst was, that he really first time realised that he could have done some fucking bad damage to that youngster's mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Kingdom for a Heart

**K****ingdom for a Heart**

Disclaimer: Bleach owns the Kubo Tite. I mean the other way around. And Sonata Arctica owns the song.

Author's note: Now you will see the Renji invasion. Like it or not. My deepest apologizes.

Warnings: some curse words, unbetadness… Nothing that you aren't used to by far.

**Part IV**

Abarai Renji sneaked around the Kurosaki house.

It wasn't actually sneaking, pineapple's head argued with his conscience, only some perfectly understandable and completely reasonable inspection. Kurosaki Isshin's flying-knee-kick was the ultimate killer attack, and Renji was not eager to face it in any kind of situation.

Never more. He had once gotten his jaw broken by that monstrous man. Only a thought of the man's fearsome grin gave him chills.

It seemed that at the moment Isshin was at his clinic. Renji rubbed his hands together in the fit of excitement; Kurosaki Yuzu was the best cook ever. From time to time red head lingered his way to the girl's kitchen and, if he was lucky, got some delicious food. Ichigo didn't like it too much, and Shiro even less, but free food was always worth of all discomfort.

Slowly and carefully the freeloader opened the front door. The fact that it was open was more than a bit suspicious.

The shinigami scanned the room with his eyes, searching something that was out of normal. There was some flowers on the floor, right next to the table. A barely audible 'klick' was probably a door closed in somewhere upstairs. At the foot of the stairs stood a man, clenching his fist a way that looked pretty painful.

A clock ticked seconds. Renji felt like he had just stepped on a stopped scene of some really dramatic play.

He picked the flowers up and placed them on the table. The man still didn't seem to notice him. The stranger was facing the stairs, so Renji couldn't see his face.

The redhead couldn't help but feel somewhat awkward. Should he leave? It seemed to be a very intimate event. The shinigami scratched the back of his head and was about to turn around and go somewhere else to beg food when he thought that the man seemed familiar.

From the back you could only see a completely white wardrobe and blue hair. Only person with a blue hair that he remembered was...

"Holy shit!"

Now the man finally turned around. He looked at redheads direction, but wasn't interested at all what the fukutaicho of the sixth division was doing in Ichigo's house. He looked angry, frustrated, tired and completely not-enemious.

The arrancar turned on his heels, put his hands on his pockets and stormed out of the Kurosaki household. Wait, was that sadness in his eyes?

Couple seconds Renji's head just swirled around like he was watching a tennis match. What the hell had just happened? The enemy of the past war had just suddenly popped up and decided to give flowers to Ichigo! World, he thought with growing worry, had gone crazy.

Oh wait. Small wheels turned inside his fruit shaped head when thinking mechanisms were finally beginning to work. This man, Grimmjow, had had some kind of relationship with berry boy lately. Renji wasn't sure about the details; he had heard about the whole deal first time from Yumichika, whit some dramatic effects and tears of affection.

Something bad had happened. You didn't need to be a genius to realise that.

Renji groaned. Why had some higher power sent _him_ to straighten out some stupid love dilemma? Out of all the people in this or in the other world only Kenpachi would be worse choice.

Better go after him. The redhead left the scene and closed the door behind him.

--

Grimmjow had already almost managed to disappear from his sight. The tealhaired man walked fast, but had no destination. With a good run, Renji caught him and took a solid hold of his shoulder. "Hey, what do you think you are doing?"

The expada gave him a dull glare. "Booze."

"Hey Booze. My name is Renji. Now, what the hell are you doing?"

A slight gleam of anger in his eyes and eyebrow ticking from irritation broke the apathetic aura surrounding him. "Your idiotism is so great that isn't even funny. Where can I have fucking alcohol from this town?"

Renji grabbed both of his shoulders and spun him around. "Now you are talking to the right person. Lets take a couple drinks, and the you will tell what is this shit with the berryboy, okay?"

Then other growled, which could have been either approval, disapproval or 'let-go-of-my-shoulder-or-I-will-bite-your-head-off' sound. But because he wasn't too fond of explaining his thoughts and let Renji decide, it was approval.

--

Later on that evening they both discovered the first time that Grimmjow was really heavy drinker. He preferred to empty his cups with one large gulp and immediately ask for a second one.

The espada told Renji, the reasons lost even from himself, the whole story. With his best ability and alcohol dimmed mind the redhead listened and drew his own conclusions about what had happened. His face showed somewhat deep worry, which didn't remain unnoticed by the hollow.

"What, are you gonna scowl me about treating your boyfriend badly? Wanna kill me? It's okay, you ain't first. But as you, I would think twice because you have only one life to waste. Wouldn't wanna use it on me, would ya?" He didn't quite slur, but it wasn't clear speak either.

_Have a hole where I should have a heart_

_I'm made of wood_

_I'm falling apart _

The redhead scratched the side of his nose, looking thoughtful. "That, too. Or he isn't my boyfriend, but otherwise that. But more worried I am about you."

Grimmjow's eyes widened and he leaned a bit backwards, giving impression of taken aback cat of himself. "And how is that?"

"Well, how old are you, for instance?"

The expada had never thought of that. Why would he? He was dead anyway, in a sense. "I don't know. Do you know how old you are? That isn't the most important question when you are fighting for your living in Hueco Mundo which is literally the house of devils."

The fukutaicho nodded, his ponytail thingy making the gesture look ridiculous. "That's exactly what I meant. You are, like, made to be a killer, and now when you are facing the normal relationship things you have no idea what to do. That can't be helped, because there is no lessons how to live a life."

Grimmjow narrowed his eyes. "That's pretty harsh from someone like you. Aren't you a shinigami? Do you have guts to say YOU aren't a trained killer?"

Renji made a face. "Yeah, but those are only hollows. Oops." One glare was better than thousand words. It boosted up the meaning of 'I know you didn't just say that, because that would have been stupid, right?' into it's malicious climax.

"Anyway, the point is, that while we were trained, you were made. No matter what we were studying, we lived a full time life. Meeting friends, laughing and taking everything the world offers to youngsters. We learned how the face hard times, together and privately. You don't know. And when it happens to you first time in a situation as serious as this, you feel like everything is coming to the end. Is that right?"

Grimmjow hesitantly nodded. The bastard knew way too much than was best for him.

"Good. Now, listen carefully, because it doesn't happen everyday that I'm drunk enough to talk about things like this."

Raised eyebrow.

"Well, doesn't happen everyday that there is actually someone who listens to me. I want you to tell me what are you fighting for."

Grimmjow grimaced. "Do I really have to say that aloud? You know, for better tomorrow and stuff like that. The world that should be right is wrong."

"I thought it would be something stupid like that. Listen; don't do anything for a better tomorrow. Ever."

Grimmjow tilted his head. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, that is what is making you go nuts. Morals, justice, right and wrong are very fragile things in the end. One word could shatter or change them completely."

"And for what I should fight for?"

"A personal vendetta is good. For your, for your loved ones. Because you want more money or more power. It doesn't really matter, as long as it's something that remains unchanged and real in good times and bad. When you first start you are liked married with your goals. Never let them go. Because if you manage to build something it will fall down with you."

Grimmjow was thankful. He even smiled, if only a little bit. "Thank you. I promise I will remember those words. I'm gonna make someone proud."

I'm gonna make someone love me. I'm gonna live on with fact that I have made a mistake. I'm gonna apologize and keep fighting. For my own sake, and for your sake.

The words he couldn't say aloud. The most important of words.

A single beam of sunlight wriggled past to the heavy curtains in to the room filled with smoke and laughter.

"Sounds great. You got any money, by the way? Because I don't."


	5. Chapter 5

**Kingdom for a Heart**

Warnings: Naah, the usuals. Yaoi, OOCness, nothing new or exiting.

Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite. The lyrics of the song _Kingdom for a Heart _belong to Sonata Arctica. They aren't in the same order than in the song, though.(And this chapter doesn't even have them!)

Author's notes: RAAAAARRGHHH!

In other words, I'm alive and well. And I plan to finish this story. After... what, a year? I spring out of the deep swamp of silence and bring the second last chapter whit me!

I tried to think a suitable excuse for this delay the longest time. They all sucked. The truth consist of real life issues and laziness, as it always does. However, I owe you an apology. #bows#

Good thing, that I do not have guts or talent to be a professional writer. All of the editors would hate me.

**Part V**

The first thing that registered itself into the mind of a waking espada was that he had a headache and a hangover. Very unpleasant experience indeed. Would he be naive and stupid enough, he would swear to never drink alcohol again.

The second thought consisted of cold, hard street under his ass and legs, and the wall behind back of his head. It also had a slight snoring noise in the background, and the slowly fading darkness behind Grimmjow's closed eyelids. All in all, it was a brief summary of his surroundings.

The third thought, however, was the memory of what had actually happened last night. Starting from a certain incident that included flowers, Kurosaki Ichigo and failed apology and then proceeding into a bar, Abarai Renji and possibly the most awkward conversation in his entire afterlife.

Grimmjow groaned. _Oh, joy._

As summoned by his unmerry thoughts, the red haired man beside him stirred. Unlike Grimmjow, he was laying on the street legs, arms and hair splattered in all possible directions. One beam of awakening sun made him gain control on his left arm and bring the limb, somewhat dramatically, covering his eyes. "Oh god. I swear to never drink alcohol again."

Grimmjow resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "As expected from you, pineapple."

After sharing those words of wisdom with the said pineapple, Grimmjow got up begun the walk. With regained enthusiasm and predator like tenacity he was going to pull back now, at least for a second. He would think the matter through and rearrange his primarity list.

Grimmjow Jaquerjacks was in really acute need of a plan. For him to be any normal hollow, this situation would have been extremely rare. But Grimmjow was not only an Espada, he was also a current ruler of Hueco Mundo. Before that, at times when his shape had been one of a cat, he had fought victoriously his way towards the top sometimes against hollows even more powerful than he was.

In short, the blue haired man had a history of being smart.

His current destination was Hueco Mundo. There he could think in peace. Grimmjow opened a garganta and stepped throught, into something he dared to call home.

He needed some assistance of Pantera.

* * *

Ichigo felt like silence had somehow taken a physical form and lingered into the house. Things that had swam in circles inside his head had somehow stopped their movement. He wasn't angry. He wasn't confused. Maybe he was a little bit sad, but he would get over that in time.

Shiro was watching him from the corner of his own mind. He could feel it, the somehow unsure and protective gaze of his counter part. Ichigo guessed that the hollow thought he was going to hurt himself somehow. Really, he had read his psychology books too well.

Because in reality Ichigo felt only guilty. That was to be expected, but it was a different kind of guilt. He felt guilty because he didn't actually feel guilty. If times would be different, or more likely the world itself would be different, he would be glad to belong to Grimmjow.

Not that he actually would ever belong the anyone. In relationships, he was fierce seme and predatorish master. Ichigo the king.

...Right.

"He doesn't know what he missed that time."

He could picture Shiro's face right now, just by hearing his voice. It was a sad face. Apparently the hollow was much more affected by Grimmjow's sudden invasion than Ichigo was.

"At least I hope he doesn't. Because if he does, he really loves you. I mean, if you were someday taken away from me I couldn't let you go, ever. Even if I knew you'd be happier that way."

"Don't worry about it," Ichigo whispered, aloud. "I wouldn't let you go either."

The hollow silently appeared in his arms. Ichigo ruffled his white locks, running his own tanned hands through them. He kissed Shiro's forehead gently and gave him a small smile. "It's okay, really."

"Yeah." The white copy of a shinigami agreed silently. "I just don't like the idea that he would love you more than I do."

"Or," Ichigo grinned and proceeded kissing his partner's lips "He just doesn't know what he is missing."

"I hope so," the hollow said. "I really hope so."

* * *

Inside Ichigo's inner world, clouds had taken over the horizon. Shirosaki didn't remember last time he had seen the sun. Nowadays it was always gray. He would have preferred the rain. When it rained clouds would disappear, just like sorrow will only disappear by letting it show.

Before Ichigo's inner weather had been either bright sun or pouring rain. Always strong emotions. The hollow missed the feeling of cold, biting rain almost as much as warmth of the sun.

Shirosaki sighed aloud and closed his eyes. The glass under his back was cool to the point of feeling cold.

Sometimes Shirosaki wondered whether he had his on inner world or not. Probably not. At least, he had never been there.

But if he had one, the sky, the ground and the air itself would be burning with shame.

His Ichigo, his lover and king and partner and whatnot had had some really traumatising experiences lately. He had been violated, broken and deserted by everything he had believed. For a moment, which now was luckily history, his friends and even Shirosaki himself had left him in the arms of Grimmjow the Beast.

He needed time to get himself back together and heal his mind completely. And only thought that fit into his perverted hollow's mind was how _god damn horny he was._

Since he and Ichigo had begun developing a closer relationship, they became much more avare of what the other was feeling. This ment no jacking off while Ichigo was awake. Even if hollow did it when the other was asleep, he might see some dreams of erotic nature.

The hollow closed his eyes, thinking of Ichigo while he slowly let his hand slide past waistline of his white hakama, proceeding to wrap around of his pale member. Oh yes, he could imagine it was Ichigo's hand, purring sensually into white skin of his neck, then licking wet trail down his chest all way to his navel. Then he would lick his lips and teasingly, oh so teasingly let the white cock in his mouth. The imaginary Ichigo's brown eyes were hazy and darkened with lust, while he greedily sucked the white member. Shirosaki's hand started pumping faster, a low groan escaping his throat.

Imaginary Ichigo groaned, the vibration tickling his cock. The hollow let himself come, arching his back in abandon.

Shiro kept his eyes closed while catching his breath. He did this a bit too often nowadays. It made him feel dirty.

When the hollow opened his eyes, he saw Grimmjow looking at him. "That was quite a show", he observed, sitting Indian style no more than three meters away from where Shirosaki was lying on his back.

The white hollow would have jumped on him in order to strangle him if it hadn't been the most surprising, embarassing and humiliating moment of his existence. For a moment he just hoped it was some kind of hallucination. Not that he often hallucinated about Grimmjow watching as he masturbated, of course.

No such luck. Grimmjow was very real, sitting there hands in his pockets and leer that was larger than life on his face.

After covering himself up he raised into a sitting position and slid slowly backwards, away from Grimmjow. "How did you get here?" He snarled angrily. Even the slightest sight of Grimmjow filled him with frustration and a nasty, cold and bitter knowledge of his own weakness.

"Pantera gave me some hints," The espada scowled and glared at their surroundings disapprovingly. "What the hell is wrong with us people here being like this? Gave me the creeps when I found myself standing sideways. Feared that I was going to fall off."

Shiro was speechless. It hadn't ever crossed his mind that the world could be perfectly normal, only all of it's inhabitants were sideways. Even Shiro himself had thought that twisted sky and the skyscrapers were symbol of Ichigo's inner conflicts and...er... screwed up mind, so to say.

"But, in any case," the espada suddenly turned all serious and stood up, starting to march around in small, restless circles . "I wanted to see Ichigo. I still want to see Ichigo. Get him here, will ya?"

The white hollow narrowed his eyes. "Why would I do that?" He growled. "So you could hurt him more? Or, just maybe, try to stutter some apology? No use in that, you _went too far. _You _can't have him back._ He hates you and I hate you and that's all there is to it!" Shirosaki could feel an urge to kill something grow bigger and bigger, to the point where it almost made his chest burst.

Grimmjow stopped pacing around and just stood still, but fidgeting. "Maybe", he said quietly, almost muttering. He looked everywhere but in Shirosaki's eyes and it made hollow even more pissed, somehow. "But I want to hear it from him. Even if the answer is no, so I can get some advice what to do better next time. Win him back, if you know what I mean."

_Must... not... rip off his head... must...not...!_

"Didn't you listen _at all _what I said!? He doesn't want to even see you! In this world, you are the most evil _fucking thing _now than Aizen is dead! Everything would be better if you weren't around!"

Somehow, that seemed to make Grimmjow very sad. If he had blue kitty-ears to mach is catlike look, the would be hanging down on the sides of his head. "Does that mean you don't like me?"

"What the hell!? I don't know what gave you the impression that I would even tolerate you, but it is way off case. I meant every fucking word I said!"

"You shouldn't curse, Shiro." The third voice cut into their conversation. "It doesn't suit you at all."


	6. Chapter 6

**Kingdom for a Heart**

Warnings: Some hinted future threesome. Yaoi, OOCness, nothing new or exiting. Lots of cursing Grimmjow.

Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite. The lyrics of the song _Kingdom for a Heart _belong to Sonata Arctica. They aren't in the same order than in the song, though

**Part VI**

The shinigami had arrived just in time to hear about Grimmjow's plans to meet him again.

Somehow it made him feel better. Grimmjow was not completely an emotionless bastard, he knew that. Probably better than anyone. He was just... new to this all. As Shiro had been not so long ago. Having a heart was not easy, in same way protecting people or fighting was not easy. Sometimes running away and hiding just wasn't an option.

"You shouldn't curse, Shiro." he said, letting the fighting duo know he was present. "It doesn't suit you at all."

The white hollow looked like he had been caught hand in a cookie jar. Grimmjow looked less startled, but it was obvious he would have preferred some more time to prepare himself.

"Hey." Grimmjow stuttered, waving his hand lightly. Ichigo rolled his eyes. The espada looked like he was in a job interview, and Ichigo would wave him off from the slightest mistake.

"You don't have flowers this time." He observed.

Grimmjow blinked. "Should I have brought some? It seemed like a bad idea last time, so I decided to let them stay at the shop. Even though there were some really pretty ones."

Had Grimmjow really just said that? Ichigo couldn't help but stare.

And then stare some more.

And then, for variety, stare some more. Grimmjow started to feel nervous, against all of his inner codes. _Get a hold of yourself, man! You even had a speech planned out for this!_

Oh right. Grimmjow had, if not prepared, lined out some things that should be brought to Ichigo's knowledge. He was just about to start listing the off when the shinigami started to laugh.

The espada sighed. He didn't like being laughed at, but Ichigo being the one laughing stopped him from going berserk. "At least he isn't staring at me anymore," he said to Shiro, and sat down next to him, ignoring the angry hiss from the hollow. "When did this started to be this fucking difficult? I just wanted to tell you some things, and then be on my merry fucking way again. And this isn't funny, you fucking shinigami." He growled to Ichigo, who was wiping his eyes.

"It's good to hear him laugh." Shiro said tiredly. He was too confused to argue anymore. "He hasn't laughed for a while."

Grimmjow quieted down, aware of the unsaid accusal in other's words.

"It's alright," Ichigo said, when he had calmed down. The shinigami sat down himself, right in front of the other two, so he could see them both at once. "It was just unlike you to bring me flowers from the start and no, I don't really need them. But," his face was serious again "what did you mean when you said you are going on your merry way again?"

"Yeah," Grimmjow agreed and laid down. Just because he felt like it. Not because he was having difficult time looking Ichigo in the eye. Nah, nothing like that.

"I had a talk with this guy. A friend of yours, I guess. Or not that I no anything about it. It's beside the point, anyway. So, we had this talk and he said to me that I take this whole thing from the wrong perspective. Like, I think too much of the things like dreams and other fluffy ideals. And I should just have something more... personal to fight for. Not building dream futures. So, I decided to make you my goal. Not that you are happy, even if that would be nice too, I mean that you would be god damn fucking _mine. _And when I tought about it, that equals to having whitey too, because he is part of you after all.

So, after all that thinking I decided that if you won't love me, I can't just tell you to. After all, I have done quite a bad job in it myself. Loving and stuff, I mean. I'm not even sure is it love what I feel for you. I'm a hollow after all, probably I'm just lusting after your pretty ass. "

_Now I know I will never love you_

_I'm a man without a heart_

_I'm not allowed to feel human feelings_

"So now I promise I will trust in you and listen to your final word. It's true that I would like to stay with you and whitey, but if you think I'm not worth it I will go and make myself worthy. It would be lie to say you would never see me again. Because no way in hell I will give up that easy. I will just get stronger or better and what ever you tell me to. I will build the land I am supposed to and you will see I can build too, not only destroy. Even if I will destroy too if that's what you think I should do."

_I'm king of the land_

_I'm ruler of the sea_

_I'd give it away in one moment _

_if I only had one moment_

"Just... Tell me what I should do." Bravo, Grimmjow. End of the rant. Somehow he felt really pathetic but... that was the god damn fucking truth. There was nothing more for him to work for.

"Think twice before you speak more of that no-hollow-can-love crap of yours," Shirosaki said angrily. But under the surface he was in awe, and even more confused than before.

The white hollow had never heard Grimmjow talk like that before. He sound just so... human, somehow. And looked too, while he was laying on his back, staring at the grey mass of clouds deep in thought.

"There is nothing you shave to do," Ichigo said while laying down beside the espada, looking directly at the other. "Except stop thinking of going away. If you start it, you don't leave. Got it?"

Grimmjow said nothing. He wasn't sure if he was surprised or not. He had ment every word he said, but somehow it was just so like Ichigo to forgive and forgot that apologizing seemed out of place.

"Yeah," he whispered and wrapped one arm around the shinigami. "Sounds good to me."

"I'm not going to be left out, am I?" Small, almost scared voice demanded confirmation.

"Of course not, Shiro. That's what my other arm is for." Grimmjow grasped a handful of white garment from behind Shiro's neck and pulled the hollow down beside him

"So, are we in some sort of threesome now?" the espada asked, petting Ichigo's hair while letting his other hand slowly slide up and down against Shiro's neck. In order to properly keep eye on his new little harem he needed them to vocalize what they were having. Tie themselves to Grimmjow's, so to speak.

The white hollow eyed him suspiciously, but it didn't escape from Grimmjow that he was enjoying the caress. "I guess so. But be aware that if you try to take him away, I will kill you."

Well, that was a start. Grimmjow poked the other's neck, chuckling viciously at the small yelp escaping white lips. "Same goes for you, buddy. Same goes for you. "

Ichigo listened their bickering with closed eyes, slight smile playing on his lips. Yes, things were going to be alright. Already some small and shy beams of light had lingered themselves through the gray mass of clouds and warmed pleasantly his closed eyelids.

"Thank you" he said, finally looking his two lovers, gifting them one of his most rarest and smiles. For both of them, Grimmjow noticed with smug happiness. "About everything."

A/N: Hm? What? I thought they were going to have sex! But apparently they didn't. It looks like they want to take their new thing slowly. It's not like I can order them around...

However, this is it. Happy ever after for these guys, at least for now. A big hug and handshake for those who have reviewed! Reviews are love.


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